Sick of this Sh@!

We've come a long way from Ninja bringing me his turd on a plate, pooping on my dining room table and painting my walls with his poop, and the adventures just couldn't stop there, oh no! Now he's done a complete 180° and feels the need to hide any sign of a bowel movement. 

By now Ninja can do his own #2 potty business by himself. The only thing he won't do is flush the toilet because the power of our toilet's flush can put the loudest public toilet you have ever heard to shame. No joke, sometime I will stand outside of the bathroom and flush it with my foot so I can close the door quickly enough to block out some of the noise.

Along with filling the toilet to the brim with t.p. to hide his poop, he's used one of my slotted spoons to push his turd further down the toilet (getting the spoon stuck in the hole), locked the bathroom door (not the easy pop lock kind) before he closed it and stacked about 20 of his books on top of the closed toilet seat (in order to prevent me from opening it).

Maybe he should stop being a chicken and just flush the damn toilet.

Can someone please tell this kid that just because I shop at Costco, and have about 20 extra rolls of toilet paper in the closet, does not mean he can use 1/2 a roll per poop.